nationals

Last weekend was the big event for Toronto cross, as our fair city played host to the National Championships. I had mixed feelings leading up to the event - a lot of signs seemed to indicate that, on both organizational and course/location fronts, possibility of "gong show" was quite high. I debated not racing... but... it was Nationals! Plus, I had decided to stay in Elite this year to see if I could improve over last years result... so I had to see, even if it was just for myself. So, of course, my debate of not racing was short-lived, and I did register.

Heading into the race, I had three publicly-stated goals:

1. Finish on the lead lap
2. Finish not-last
3. Don't have a loose and crooked helmet (even if I failed at 1 and 2, I would still look good in the photos)

Let me state here that the race and the course were both better than expected. My cynical heart was expecting total chaos, and but the participant experience was quite smooth - other than the lack of pins at registration. It may have been a total shitshow behind the scenes, but you wouldn't have known. The course was quite hilly and did not suit my strengths at all, but it was not nearly as bad as I was mentally prepared for.

Anyway, showed up quite early, as the Boy raced at 10am, and before the 9am race was the only opportunity to get on the course to check it out. I did a couple of laps at an easy pace. The Boy had a great race in the biggest field of the day. He finished 12th, and I was really proud to see how strongly he fought the entire race.

After watching the Boy's race, I was more excited to get going for my own. I had to remind myself to sit down and eat - I don't normally race so late in the day, so making sure I got more food in between breakfast and race time was pretty important! I got kitted up and had time for a few more laps in the gap before the afternoon races.

All of a sudden, it was time to line up and get started. My initial start, for the first grassy stretch, was pretty good. I came off the line quickly and held my position. The other part of the start, once we turned onto the pavement, suddenly sucked. I just kind of got swarmed. Chalk it up to "not used to riding with more than 10 women", or "don't forget, you need to keep going hard". By the time we hit the woods, I was either last or second to last, and not so impressed with myself.

This is normally the part where I could give some kind of lap-by-lap race recount. I actually can't for this race, which probably means I was working pretty hard. Or was pretty worked over. Regardless, I know that I hung on to the strung out field for a bit, and moved up to 18 (of 21). I managed to squeak by Mandy on one of the run ups, but she rallied and got the spot back and then some, moving up even further in what I think is one of her first cross races. The gap ahead of me grew, and the gap behind me seemed pretty solid. I really, really hurt. I wanted to DNF - the climbs were absolutely killing me, I felt like I was working so hard, it hurt a lot, and being at the back of the race, I didn't feel like I was getting much payback for the effort. (An aside: does it actually hurt less when you are fighting near the front? Or does the excitement of being in the thick of things help you forget and/or shelve the pain? Discuss!) I felt like I had people cheering for me on every corner of the course, which helped so, so, so much. Besides, it was only 40minutes... I could handle it, I just needed to toughen up.  I just tried to focus on doing each thing as well as I could - fast over the barriers, good remount, pedal through the corners... I screwed up one of the off-camber sections, and just heard Rachael remind me to stay focused - it helped so much. Before I knew it, I saw that I was catching on the girl in 18th. I had a lap and a half to go, and I could catch her. I caught her on the paved section, and led through the woods, just before we got the bell for last lap. She got out of the saddle and hammered out of the corner after the woods, and I let her open up a small gap. There was still a full lap left and I knew that I could reel her in again; it was nice to race with a bit patience and confidence. Sure enough, I caught her again at the first run up, and gapped her on the remount. Held onto 18th for the finish.

I have never worked so hard for such a low result. I admit that I felt frustrated when I first finished - it is very hard to go from racing in the top-5 at local races to the back of the pack for one race. On the other hand, well, it's Nationals - the largest and most competitive field all year. I know I'm a long ways from top 5. I also know that when I set my schedule at the start of the season, I've never put much emphasis on Nationals - it's just hard to not get wrapped up in them when you're actually there.

Anyway, musing about the importance of the race aside, I am happy for a number of things from this race. First, I improved on my result from last year (from 19th in 2010 to 18th in 2011!), and second, I achieved two of my previously stated goals of finishing "not-last", and of not being lapped. The straight-helmet thing seems to depend on the photographer, the time, whether I am on an off-camber section or not, and all other weird witchcraft. I think I might just need to go shopping for a new helmet over the winter to solve this one!